I Kept My 2011 New Year’s Resolution
I close my eyes and involuntarily hold my breath as my fingers hover over the Enter key on the computer. Quickly I push send, and another blog has been posted. I wonder if I’ve gone too far with this one. Do people want to read about my accident prone life? Are stories about my cat throwing up hairballs offensive? Have I shared too many personal details? I resist calling my parents to ask them if they’ve read the latest blog entry but half expect one of them to call and ask, “What were you thinking?” How quickly could I un-post an entry?
One year ago, I set a goal for myself. I would post a new story every week for one solid year. Only once – on 9/11 – did I resort to recycling old material, and even that one was revised and rewritten. Through surgeries, travel out of state, preparing for speaking engagements, and a host of other potential show stoppers, I pressed on; and as of this moment, when my fingers stopped their hesitation and pressed send, I’ve done it. This is very likely the first New Year’s Resolution I’ve ever kept, and it was not easy.
Would it be SO bad if I missed one week? I asked myself several times when I was struggling to come up with a new idea.
Sure I could have, but I wanted to reach this goal. I wanted to look back on a year and know that I’d kept a promise to myself.
So much in life is hard! Keeping promises, doing what’s right, being kind, and thinking of others instead of yourself – all of these things are hard; but perhaps hardest of all is pressing on for God. As I’ve begun to accept speaking engagements, I have to slice out huge chunks of times to prepare. Exercising never sounded like so much fun as when I trudge to my office and power up Strong’s online concordance. Doubt overwhelms me. Is this really what God wants me to do? Who wants to listen to me talk anyway?
An hour and a half later I’m engrossed in study; I look up at the clock and wonder where the time went. That’s when I remember the misgivings I had about publishing Questions from a Single Heart. Who wants to read about singleness? I personally hate books on singleness; so why on earth would I write one?
I strongly felt God urging me to write about my own journey through singleness. Putting my life out for others to read was not easy. People now know my weakest areas and a host of my faults, but each time I hesitated, I felt God pushing me to move forward. Now a year later, I can look back and see why. People tell me my story made a difference in their lives. My story helped them to make important, life changing decisions.
The tasks God has given you to do may be very different than mine, but they are no less important. At this time of the year when everyone is resolving to lose weight, finally get their photo albums organized, or read through BBCs top 100 book list, try setting a different kind of a goal for yourself. Set one that will help you reach the ultimate prize.
Thank you for accompanying me on my 2011 resolution journey.
I’m still trying to decide what to resolve for 2012, but I’m sure I’ll share it with you eventually. In the meantime, Happy New Year!